To Test or Not to Test? That is the Question.

Imagine doing an ento shoot — maskless — with one of your girls or boys as an asymptomatic carrier. Imagine how you will later on, after being exposed, have photos — maskless — — with your parents who have comorbidities. Imagine how you and the rest of the entourage will later on have photos with others — maskless. Imagine how later on they will go home to their families already carrying unwanted “passengers”. 

The antigen test is an additional layer of protection. No choice for the bride, the groom, their family members, and entourage, but to remove their masks during make up and the shoot — ok, for the later, there is a choice but most of the time the couple wishes to have memories of their big day sans covid; thus, the request to remove masks just for quick photo or video opportunities. Sometimes they even forget the new social norms & hug or beso upon seeing each other. At least with an antigen test the day before, they get to weed out those who could be sources of the virus. There are providers who send kits and do the tests via video calls.  Of course, it can also happen that their virus load won’t show up yet depending on days after exposure, but at least the couple gets to lessen that chance with an antigen test the day before. 

For suppliers, this will give them a chance to change particular team members who tested positive — without exposing others during transport. This will also prevent anyone positive from the hair and make up team from being in close contact with anyone maskless and vice versa. This is really difficult because theirs is the closest contact with all those who need make up and hair. Although the artists are wearing protection, they will still be facing people who are maskless. 

So is the extra expense worth it?  You decide. 

Note: It helps everyone if all people present are fully vaccinated because then the chance of the virus affecting one severely gets diminished. The vaccine though is not a replacement for wearing masks, social distancing, and applying other safety protocols. 

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Is moving your date the answer?

Covid 19 has been with us for almost a year and a half already. Based on pronouncements of those in the know, it will persist and mutate for as long as there are lots of unvaccinated individuals. Countries have to move fast to vaccinate, populations have to accept the need, etc. These basically mean that there are lots of factors we can’t control in the fight against covid. But we can focus on those that we can like strengthening our immune systems, getting vaccinated, observing safety protocols, praying, etc.

Based on experiences of those who decided on march, april, may, and august weddings last year and moved to the same months this year, moving dates did not ensure their weddings. They still got affected by surges, ecq pronouncements, etc. 

Believe me… We understand your fears, you may have comorbidities or family members who are susceptible. But you know moving and moving your date will not ensure that covid will not be around anymore, that another calamity is not waiting to happen. Life has so many challenges. We just have to find ways to deal with them. 

If you’re afraid, have nice food packs to be distributed after the short program. That way, no one is allowed to remove his or her mask. Your post nup will be after the short program that consists of only the important parts (around 45 mins tops right after the ceremony). Or you can have a first look so all couple shots are done prior to the ceremony. 

If you want people to eat in the venue, get a big venue so social distancing can be ensured. Have those who are highly susceptible join via online means. These are suggestions, of course, everything depends on your personal preferences. 

Now… decision time. 

Ask yourself: If Covid will be around all of next year, can you handle it? If not, then don’t move to a definite 2022 date yet. Ask your suppliers if the reservation fees you gave can be put on hold first. Then just be prepared for the new rates when you decide to push through — when covid is finally just a memory. 

This is better than moving to a definite date then moving again when the definite date is close by and you’re still feeling scared about the situation. The latter deprives other couples of the services of the suppliers who are being held by your reservation. 

{Note: this does not apply to those who need to move because of govt lockdown declarations.} 

#theweddingtipsheet #weddingplanner #darlenetansalazarweddingemcee #weddinghost 

Should you inform your parents regarding your wedding plans?

In our culture, we have what is called the pamamanhikan. It is a gathering wherein both sides are informed of wedding plans. Sometimes this can’t happen right away because of various reasons — living abroad, covid, parents are thought to be unsupportive, etc. 

Parents, being who they are, often want to know what is going on in their children’s lives — it doesn’t matter whether the son/daughter is 2 or 32. They would still like to be informed. 

However, as a wedding planner, I do understand how often parents — despite trying to help — affect wedding plans and mold them according to certain norms they believe in. Example: you would like to have an intimate wedding with people you truly know while your parents want to invite a lot more — even those who are unknown to you. Or they want to have certain famous people as godparents even if you’d rather keep the list focused on those you can talk to anytime. Then the clash happens.

If you would rather not have your parents involved in the planning phase, talk to them nicely that you feel this is your first big project as a couple so you would rather focus on things you really like. However, if you will do this, make sure you do not need any form of support from your parents. If you will ask for money or service/assistance in the form of handling paper work, etc., then you better be ready to also listen to their suggestions. 

To be fair, not all parental suggestions will clash with your plans so it’s a good idea to listen. That way, they won’t have resentments days leading up to and on the day of your wedding. It’s hard to deal with parents who are unhappy on the day. They can affect the photos and video clips that will be taken simply because their actions can affect your mood as well. Worse, they might say something negative during their speeches.

So best thing to do? Compromise. Say yes to suggestions you can live with and ask them to accept some of your plans as well. That way, no resentment builds, and no problem on the day. Do this compromise early on so you won’t feel trapped as well when they tell you they already invited several friends or they already asked some individuals to be godparents. Obviously it would be difficult to uninvite people. Avoid letting the situation get to that point. 

Most parents have so much love for their children. Hence, a lot are willing to compromise. So try them first. Don't make hiding your wedding plans your first option especially if your whole lives your parents have been nothing but supportive of your dreams and aspirations. 

{need a planner or an emcee, message me via darlenetansalazar@icloud.com}

Should I go for sit-down or buffet service?

As a wedding planner and emcee, I have seen my share of sit-down, buffet, and lauriat services. 

Buffet service is a popular choice because the couple and/or their parents feel that their guests would really feel satisfied because they can get as much as they desire. 

Sit-down service is often frowned upon because people think that this one would not satisfy hunger. 

However, based on experience, sit-down service should not be dismissed right away. 

Why?

1) because it’s safer, given the current situation with covid (No matter the reminders, some still go to the buffet without masks, and some buffet service providers don’t have people to manage so guests end up holding the serving spoon or even talking over the food. 😭)

2) because if the courses include an appetizer, soup, salad, first entree, sorbet, main course, and dessert, people really do feel full (This refers to actual sit-down service not the hybrid we have here which has lots of stuff on one plate — sauces mixing together, and looking a bit less appetizing.) 

It can be a bit tedious though because often sit-down service menus have beef as main course, perhaps, because it is touted to be more filling. But we all know not everyone eats beef. So  during RSVP time, guests need to be asked if they have food concerns — some only eat fish, some only eat vegetables, some have allergies, etc. 

It’s also a bit more expensive given the number of people in the kitchen plating food and the number of servers involved. But this doesn’t come into play much since there are usually 50 or fewer in the guest list, so spending a little more for food and for safety, doesn’t cause as a major as a dent in the budget as a wedding of 150 or more guests. 

Oh and don’t dismiss tasting type menus because the number of items and the bursts of flavor per item can really fill the stomach. Plus you’re giving your guests an experience far different from what they would normally have at weddings. 

I think the most major plus of a sit-down service choice is that of lessening eat and run guests. They won’t leave since they still need to wait for their food to be served. Haha! Kidding aside though, it does help in keeping guests seated and focused on the reception. (Also, since intimate weddings are in vogue, you can avoid inviting those who are known to eat and run. Send them food and make them watch via your live stream. That way, they can have both their goals — eating good food and staying home.) 

{if you’re on the lookout for a planner or an emcee, e-mail me via darlenetansalazar@icloud.com} 

#theweddingtipsheet #darlenetansalazar #weddingcoordinator #weddingemcee